Last Updated on 2 years by silvergentleman
“Hey care to come out for a drink tonight”? I heard a familiar voice on the line. I was a little taken aback because that voice belongs to a person I had not heard from, or seen for the past 10 years or so since he got married and became a dad.
“Erm, sure, I said”, before proceeding to make arrangements to meet at a bar in town.
When he walked through the door of the bar, I was shocked. Whatever happened recently had obviously taken a toll on him. He was unshaven and seemed like he lost 10 pounds (we are still friends on Facebook, so while I haven’t spoken to him in a while, I’m not privy to his “latest travel to the Maldives with my family” album), and he seems just….. beaten.
What transpired was a session that lasted till the wee hours of the morning. My friend (in fact one of my best buddies at one point) was officially getting divorced after 7 years of marriage. Now, my friend had married late, prioritizing the swinging bachelor life instead of getting tied down in marriage while the rest of his bachelor buds were dwindling down to the single digits.
In fact, he had 2 kids with his partner before finally deciding to get married to her. His current age? 50.
Statistically, the divorce rate of all marriages in the United States is 50%. This means that 1 out of every 2 marriages will end up in separation or divorce.
Few life transitions are as daunting as a divorce, regardless of age. For men over 50 however, the change can be even more jarring, both emotionally and financially. Yet with careful planning and adjustment, it’s possible to create a new life after divorce that is rich and fulfilling.
This blog post will explore some of the challenges men over 50 face after divorce, as well as steps they can take to rebuild their lives.
What Life After A Divorce At 50 Is REALLY Like
No one said that divorce was easy. But for men over the age of 50, there can be some unique challenges. After all, you’re not only dealing with the fallout of a failed relationship, but also with the added pressure of starting over again later in life.
But it’s not all doom and gloom. With the right mindset and some careful planning, you can create a new life after divorce that is just as rich and fulfilling as your previous one. Here are some things to keep in mind:
Your financial situation may change
One of the biggest concerns for men after divorce is their finances. If you were the primary breadwinner in your marriage, you may find yourself having to adjust to a new financial reality. This may mean downsizing your lifestyle, getting a new job, or simply being more mindful about your spending.
But it’s important to remember that your financial situation is not permanent. With some careful planning and budgeting, you can get back on track and start building your wealth again.
You may have to deal with custody issues
If you have children, custody arrangements will need to be made. This can be a difficult process, especially if you and your ex are not on good terms. But it’s important to remember that your children’s well-being should always be your top priority.
Try to work out a custody arrangement that is fair for both you and your ex, and that puts your children’s needs first. If necessary, seek help from a mediator or therapist to help you navigate this process.
You’ll need to find a new place to live
If you were living in your family home, you’ll need to find a new place to live after the divorce. This can be a daunting task, especially if you’re not used to living on your own. But it’s also an opportunity to start fresh and create a space that is truly yours.
Take your time in finding a new place to live. Consider your lifestyle and needs, and find a place that feels like home.
You may need to rebuild your social life
After divorce, you may find yourself without many friends or social activities. This is normal, as your social life will likely change after the breakup of your marriage. But it’s important to make an effort to rebuild your social life, as it can be a crucial source of support during this time. Focus on your support group rather than rush into a new relationship.
Look for social activities that interest you, such as joining a club, taking a class, or volunteering. Or, simply reach out to friends and family members and invite them over for dinner or drinks. Over time, you’ll start to rebuild your social circle and create a new support system.
You may need to make some lifestyle changes
If you’re used to living a certain way, you may need to get out of your comfort zone and make some changes after divorce. For example, you may need to downsize your home, get a new job, or find a new hobby. These changes can be difficult, but they can also be liberating.
Try to view divorce as an opportunity to make positive changes in your life. Embrace the chance to start over and create a new life that is even better than before.
Divorce is never easy, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. With the right mindset and some careful planning, you can create a new life after divorce that is just as rich and fulfilling as your previous one.
Divorced man and alone at 50
Most men never expect to find themselves divorced and alone at 50. For many, the divorce process is a shock to the system – emotionally, mentally, and financially.
The emotional roller coaster of divorce can be especially challenging for men over 50. With the end of a long-term relationship comes grief, loss, and uncertainty. Men may also struggle with feelings of failure and inadequacy. If the divorce was not their choice, they may feel even more anger and resentment.
The good news is that it is possible for men over 50 to create a new life after divorce. With careful planning and adjustment, they can develop a rich and fulfilling lifestyle. Here are some tips for men over 50 who are starting over after divorce:
1. Give yourself time to grieve
The grief process is different for everyone, but it’s important to allow yourself time to mourn the loss of your marriage. Don’t try to bottle up your emotions or pretend that everything is okay when it’s not.
2. Seek professional help if needed
If you’re struggling to cope with your emotions, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. A therapist can provide support and guidance as you adjust to your new life.
3. Develop a support system
Surround yourself with family and friends who will be there for you during this difficult time. These people can provide a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and helpful advice.
4. Take care of your physical health
The stress of divorce can take a toll on your physical health. Be sure to eat a healthy diet, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep.
5. Create a new routine
One of the best ways to cope with divorce is to create a new daily routine. This can help you feel more in control of your life and provide some structure during a time of upheaval. Consider things like exercise, meditation, or journaling to help you relax and unwind each day.
6. Find new hobbies and interests
Now is the perfect time to explore new hobbies and interests. Take up painting, hiking, biking, or whatever sounds fun to you.
This can help you meet new people, learn new skills, and distract yourself from the negative aspects of divorce.
While divorce can be a difficult time, it doesn’t have to be the end of your life. With some careful planning and adjustment, you can create a new life that is rich and fulfilling.
7. Focus on your finances
Divorce can have a major impact on your finances. Make sure you understand your financial situation and take steps to protect your assets.
8. Don’t rush into dating
If you’re ready to date again, take your time. Don’t feel pressure to jump into new relationships just because you’re lonely or want companionship.
9. Give yourself time to heal
The process of healing after divorce takes time. Be patient with yourself and don’t expect to feel better overnight.
10. Seek out other divorced men
There are many groups and organizations available to help men after divorce, whether it be through online forums or in-person meetups. Joining one of these groups can provide you with much-needed support and advice from others who have been through a divorce.
Men tend to keep to themselves during this grieving process, but connecting with others who are going through the same thing can be helpful and therapeutic. Remember, there are many people in similar situations as you. You are not alone.
Divorce is a difficult process, but it doesn’t have to be the end of your life. With time, effort, and support, you can create a new life that is rich and fulfilling.
Take care of yourself both physically and emotionally
One of the most important things you can do after your divorce is to take care of yourself. This means not only taking care of your physical health but also your emotional well-being. If you find yourself struggling emotionally, don’t hesitate to seek out counseling or therapy. Taking care of yourself will help you be in a better place to take care of other aspects of your life.
Rebuild your financial stability
For many men, divorce can lead to a significant loss of income. It’s important to take steps to rebuild your financial stability after divorce. This may include getting a new job, finding ways to increase your income, or creating a budget.
5 Mistakes to Avoid When Divorcing Over 50
Divorce is never easy, but it can be especially challenging later in life. Men over 50 face a unique set of challenges when divorcing, both emotionally and financially. With careful planning and adjustment, however, it is possible to create a new life after divorce that is rich and fulfilling.
Here are five mistakes to avoid when divorcing over 50:
1. Not seeking professional help
Divorce is a complex process, and it can be helpful to seek out the guidance of a professional. Look for a lawyer who specializes in divorce, and don’t be afraid to ask for recommendations from friends or family.
2. Not being honest about your finances
One of the most important aspects of divorce is dividing up assets and debts. If you both share a house, you need to decide how best to split up the asset in a way that is fair for both of you.
It’s important to be honest about your financial situation, both with your lawyer and your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Hiding assets or debts can make the divorce process more complicated and could even result in legal penalties.
3. Trying to go through the divorce alone
Divorce can be an emotionally draining process, and it’s important to have a support system in place. Lean on friends and family for emotional support, and consider seeking out counseling or therapy.
4. Refusing to compromise
In any divorce, there will be areas where you and your spouse disagree. It’s important to be open to compromise, as rigidity can make the process more difficult and could even lead to a longer, more costly divorce.
5. Not taking care of yourself
The divorce process can be stressful, and it’s important to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. Eating a healthy diet, getting regular exercise, and getting enough sleep are all crucial for maintaining your well-being during this time.
Divorce can be a difficult and challenging time, but by avoiding these mistakes you can set yourself up for a successful future.
There is life after divorce
They may have a hard time adjusting to being single again and may feel like they are too old to start dating again. They may have to start over financially and they may have to deal with the stress of being single again.
However, it is important for them to stay positive and realize that there is still plenty of time for them to find love again.
They should also take advantage of resources like online dating and counseling to help them through this tough transition.
With the help of friends, family, and professionals, they can get through this difficult time and start anew.
What happened to my friend?
At this time of writing (about 14 months after we met at the bar), my friend had officially moved out of the house he shared with his wife. They are in the midst of a rather “friendly” divorce with a joint custody agreement. It helps that they had simply grown apart and there was no third party involved in their split.
They remain committed to their 2 beautiful kids and he has recently started dating again. He has also reconnected with his old buddies and has taken up a new passion – flying drones.
Disclaimer: While I will not name my friend by name, he had kindly given me permission to use his story in my blog.
